When someone hurts us, it can take time to heal and move on. We can even hold onto the pain inflicted upon ourselves or the pain we caused others. When we don’t move on, that pain and resistance, wherever it came from, can get in the way of the many good things in life.
While some people quickly move on, others can struggle, and sometimes never do. In his 2019 online article, Nick Wignall, “The Psychology of Forgiveness: 7 Lessons on How to Finally Let Go and Forgive Someone,” he makes the following points:
- Forgiveness does not mean forgetting
- Forgiveness and anger don’t mix well
- Forgiveness does not imply endorsement
- Forgiveness does not require reconciliation
- Forgiveness is not one decision
- Forgiveness is not a feeling
- Your road to forgiveness is your own
Even if you don’t agree with Wignall’s points, think of forgiveness as a psychological gift to yourself. You’ll free your mind to make room for life’s joys. Remember, no one can give you forgiveness, but you. It’s on each of us to forgive others, and even ourselves, so we can move on and be the best we can be.
According to Psychology Today, “Psychologically, when people reported higher levels of forgiveness, they also tended to report better health habits and decreased depression, anxiety, and anger levels. Together, these results highlight the importance of forgiveness—not for the other person, but for you.”
Who can you forgive today? What’s holding you back?